have you never heard of wife ears, they can detect and analyse anything spoken by the spouse, distance is no obstacle.

 

Have you ever heard of marital deafness?

 

"I'm sorry my dear, I didnt quite catch that"

 

Yes. Men don't have to say the remark even out loud for it to be wrong. Just ask yourself this; if my wife heard that, would i
a) be getting an earful or
b) be spending the night on the couch with any sexual activites banned for the near future.

Then you'll have your answer.

 

An oldie but a goodie...

If buttered bread always lands butter side down when you drop it, and a cat always lands on its feet when dropped, What happens if you strap a piece of buttered-side up bread to a cat's back and dropped it?????

:excited::excited:

 

Easy - perpetual motion :excited:

 

Ha ha, a cat spinning in mid air....:excited::excited:

Methinks kitty would protest after a tad.

 

I tried to practice that, didn't work, I was expected to read her mind, aah well the blessings of a decree absolute.:excited:

A pissed off cat and a toastless spouse

 

There is no tree and no forest if noone is around. Simple.

 

Saw a bumper sticker which read:

IF A MAN SAYS SOMETHING

AND THERE'S NO WOMAN TO HEAR HIM

IS HE STILL WRONG.

 

You've answered ewer own question. Man says something, ergo he is wrong :awesome:

 

If a sheep gets sheared is he a skinhead.:excited:

 

Shearly not!!

 

Yes he is, and quit calling me Shearly!

 

But... ... ewe used to love it when I called ewe Shearly; especially when you dressed up like a rock diva

 

By the time you get into the little white rocks near the summit of the pass you're close to 10,000 feet in elevation, and the sides of the mountain are nearly vertical. And yet a Fir tree mangeged to take root there and grow for at least a couple hundred years, until it was more than four feet in diameter and more than 100 feet high.

Then one day when the wind was too strong and the soil and rocks too weak to hold it anymore the giant fell from its from its lofty perch above a small clearing, the only flat spot for miles, some 40 feet below. And at the edge of the clearing there was a giant granite boulder, about ten feet long, and five feet wide. with a base of about four feet that tapered down to only about six inches long at the top. And when that giant Fir tree hit that natural granite hatchet blade in snapped it in half like a twig.

And that stopped the bottom half alright but the top half just continued down that nearly vertical mountain side onto all those unsuspecting other Pine Trees and Aspen and cut a swath through them that reduced them to tooth picks.

Does a tree falling in the forest make a sound if no one was there to hear it? I guarantee you that one did, scaring the living shit out of animals large and small for miles. And the evidence that Bertrand Russel is full of shit, can be found in the tracks of Elk, along a trail that passes by that fallen tree.

 

You could have just said "Yes".:excited:

 

That's true. But then that just wouldn't be me now would it?

 

s

 

This is getting worse, one word posts, now one letter posts.

A resounding TWAT, is all I can say.